Wed Mar 03, 2010 6:40 pm
Top 10 most overreated characters
10. Donkey Kong
Why he's overrated: With the exception of Mario, Donkey Kong also had a considerable role in turning Nintendo into the company they are today. He helped them leave the playing cards and Game & Watch trinkets in the past and move them to the forefront of the industry. But what has he done for Nintendo lately?
These days, Donkey Kong's name is almost synonymous with gimmicky games. He's starred in not one, not two, but three Donkey Konga games so far. The last time he headlined a traditional platforming adventure was Donkey Kong 64, and we notice no one seems to be crying out for that game to hit the Wii Virtual Console.
And what's with the goofy tie? DK needs a fashion makeover, and he needs something more then Super Smash Bros. to keep his name relevant. This guy used to be a working icon. Now his status is starting to show signs of rust. Time to leave the Kongas back with the Game & Watches.
9. Altair
Why he's overrated: Altair is heralded as one of the great new creations of the current console generation. He's that rare new character that catches on like wildfire, and proves that gamers are willing to accept new styles of play in their FPS-driven universe.
But the Altair supporters seem to be forgetting one thing – Assassin's Creed is one amazingly boring game. Sure, it looks pretty, but the character is a very formulaic one, rendered to look fully fleshed out but coming off as a very 2-D hero. Conistent? Sure, but his objectives are, well, kinda meh. Typical day for the assassin: Sneak around the city. Assassinate your target. Blend into the crowd. Find another target. So it goes, so it goes. And hey, when he gets bored, he goes to hunt down some flags.
Altair is like a poor man's Prince of Persia. Instead of wowing gamers with dazzling acrobatics, he likes to slink around and do as little work as possible when it comes to killing. The only thing that we can classify as dynamic about the guy is the fact that his story is being relived through the eyes of his descendant. Which would have been cooler if actress Kristen Bell hadn't spoiled it months in advance.
8. Big Daddy
Why he's overrated: A big monster in a diving suit? The idea was cool enough the first 50 times we did battle with these undersea behemoths. At some point, though, we realized just how dumb these brutes really were.
Much has been made of the ferocious challenge these enemies pose. And when Jack is weak and underpowered, they do pose a challenge. But at some point you can start coasting through the entire game by hypnotizing the silly things to do your every bidding.
And it's probably no coincidence that the portion of BioShock that requires Jack to disguise himself as a Big Daddy is the weakest. It seems that Big Daddies make a nice, scary image, but once you peer behind the diver's helmet and ignore the whale cries, they just aren't all that.
7. Pac-Man
Why he's overrated: Ugh, Pac-Man? This is almost too easy.
Once upon a time, Pac-Man was king of the world. His was the game that every console manufacturer craved. Pac-Man birthed a TV show, a catchy '80s song, and oodles of merchandise. Then the gaming industry crashed, and poor little Pac-Man has never been the same.
Since this time, Pac-Man has appeared in about a billion games, few of which are worth mentioning. The little semi-circular mascot just can't seem to find his place in the modern world. And most gamers have since admitted that Ms. Pac-Man was by far the better of the duo anyway. (Burn!)
6. Kratos
Why he's overrated: Kratos is not the first gaming hero to live in a world influenced by Greek mythology. But everyone seems to treat him like he is.
All we know is that if we ever used God of War as a reference for a research paper, we would have been sent to Special Ed faster than we could say "Blades of Athena".
Kratos is the typical testosterone-fueled He-Man that modern entertainment has too much of. He has that tragic aura of mystery about him, but most of the time he's too busy tearing the wings off harpies and eviscerating minotaurs for any of that to matter.
It's clear not all the gods in Olympus can stop Kratos from achieving revenge, so what's the point? We all know how God of War is going to end. The only question is just how many metric tons of flesh will be cleaved along the way.
Surely a hero's journey can offer more than that.
5. Chris Redfield
Why he's overrated: Chris Redfield was always the "cool" kid on the block when it came to Resident Evil, but true fans know that Redfield's hanging out in the shadow of one Leon S. Kennedy. He's not the star of the franchise we deserve but rather the one we have for right now.
Somebody obviously fed Chris a few too many steroids in preparation for Resident Evil 5. Check out the size of those guns. The arms, not the pistols. And despite his awesome muscle mass, is Chris strongest of them all? Heck no! He can't even land a punch on Wesker without getting tossed across a room and thrown into a table.
We suggest Chris ditch the 'roids and concentrate on getting the job done. Leon S. Kennedy is perfectly capable of laying waste to zombie hordes, and he doesn't even need a partner to help him.
4. Marcus Fenix
Why he's overrated: Speaking of 'roid rage, check out this loser. Marcus Fenix is the kind of muscle-bound buffoon that makes even guys like Kratos seem like introspective philosophers. His personality consists entirely of grunting, shouting, and shooting.
As much as Epic Games has tried to fool gamers by licensing tie-in novels and comic books, we all know the truth. There is no real story to be had for Marcus in Gears of War, aside from arm up, take aim and go on a bug hunt. It's all about big men with bigger guns shooting generic aliens over and over again. Calling Marcus Fenix one of the definitive gaming characters of the current generation is technically accurate, but also misleading. There isn't any real character to be had here.
3. Sonic the Hedgehog
Why he's overrated: Insulting Sonic feels like kicking a crippled war veteran after they've fallen out of their wheelchair. Nothing we can say about Sonic can possibly wound him worse than Sega already has in the past decade.
Sonic was once one of the most popular characters in all of pop culture, much less the gaming industry. But sometime around the advent of 3-D gaming, Sega realized it had no idea what to do with their star mascot. Since then, dozens of Sonic games in almost evry genre have hit the shelves, and most headed straight for the trash can afterward.
Sonic was once a platforming god. That doesn't mean he has any relevance to today's gamer. People used to like Alex Kidd, but you don't see him still being shoved down our throats. It's time to give up and let Sonic die in peace.
2. Lara Croft
Why she's overrated: Lara Croft helped usher in a new era of gaming with the original Tomb Raider. She inspired one of the very few decent videogame-to-movie adaptations ever produced. She was quite possibly the first gaming icon ever to be accepted as a mainstream sex symbol.
But these days, it's not just feminists who think Lara needs to go away. After about the third Tomb Raider game, we realized we had had enough of raiding tombs and fighting dinosaurs. Sure, Lara had an upswing thanks to Tomb Raider: Legend and Anniversary, but ultimately these games weren't able to rekindle our love for Ms. Croft.
Just look at the ground Lara has paved for new gaming heroines. Now we have Bloodrayne and some chick who wears a magical suit made of hair. The times, they are a-changing.
1. Master Chief
Why he's overrated: Given the pedigree of some of the yahoos on this list, we're almost surprised you went with Master Chief as the most overrated character in gaming. But who are we to argue with the readers?
Granted, the hubbub over Master Chief is disconcerting at times. Halo fans make this Spartan soldier out to be a paragon of storytelling greatness, but really - what is there underneath all that armor to warrant such praise? Chief rarely even talks, much less offers up compelling nuggets of drama. Half the time he could be swapped out with Gordon Freeman and gamers wouldn't know the difference.
No, the truth of the matter is that 95% of what makes Halo so enduringly popular is not exclusively tied to its hero, but rather to its multiplayer mode. The other 5% is the catchy theme music. At the end of the day, Master Chief is just a generic action hero riding on the coat tails of a much better game.
Why he's overrated: With the exception of Mario, Donkey Kong also had a considerable role in turning Nintendo into the company they are today. He helped them leave the playing cards and Game & Watch trinkets in the past and move them to the forefront of the industry. But what has he done for Nintendo lately?
These days, Donkey Kong's name is almost synonymous with gimmicky games. He's starred in not one, not two, but three Donkey Konga games so far. The last time he headlined a traditional platforming adventure was Donkey Kong 64, and we notice no one seems to be crying out for that game to hit the Wii Virtual Console.
And what's with the goofy tie? DK needs a fashion makeover, and he needs something more then Super Smash Bros. to keep his name relevant. This guy used to be a working icon. Now his status is starting to show signs of rust. Time to leave the Kongas back with the Game & Watches.
9. Altair
Why he's overrated: Altair is heralded as one of the great new creations of the current console generation. He's that rare new character that catches on like wildfire, and proves that gamers are willing to accept new styles of play in their FPS-driven universe.
But the Altair supporters seem to be forgetting one thing – Assassin's Creed is one amazingly boring game. Sure, it looks pretty, but the character is a very formulaic one, rendered to look fully fleshed out but coming off as a very 2-D hero. Conistent? Sure, but his objectives are, well, kinda meh. Typical day for the assassin: Sneak around the city. Assassinate your target. Blend into the crowd. Find another target. So it goes, so it goes. And hey, when he gets bored, he goes to hunt down some flags.
Altair is like a poor man's Prince of Persia. Instead of wowing gamers with dazzling acrobatics, he likes to slink around and do as little work as possible when it comes to killing. The only thing that we can classify as dynamic about the guy is the fact that his story is being relived through the eyes of his descendant. Which would have been cooler if actress Kristen Bell hadn't spoiled it months in advance.
8. Big Daddy
Why he's overrated: A big monster in a diving suit? The idea was cool enough the first 50 times we did battle with these undersea behemoths. At some point, though, we realized just how dumb these brutes really were.
Much has been made of the ferocious challenge these enemies pose. And when Jack is weak and underpowered, they do pose a challenge. But at some point you can start coasting through the entire game by hypnotizing the silly things to do your every bidding.
And it's probably no coincidence that the portion of BioShock that requires Jack to disguise himself as a Big Daddy is the weakest. It seems that Big Daddies make a nice, scary image, but once you peer behind the diver's helmet and ignore the whale cries, they just aren't all that.
7. Pac-Man
Why he's overrated: Ugh, Pac-Man? This is almost too easy.
Once upon a time, Pac-Man was king of the world. His was the game that every console manufacturer craved. Pac-Man birthed a TV show, a catchy '80s song, and oodles of merchandise. Then the gaming industry crashed, and poor little Pac-Man has never been the same.
Since this time, Pac-Man has appeared in about a billion games, few of which are worth mentioning. The little semi-circular mascot just can't seem to find his place in the modern world. And most gamers have since admitted that Ms. Pac-Man was by far the better of the duo anyway. (Burn!)
6. Kratos
Why he's overrated: Kratos is not the first gaming hero to live in a world influenced by Greek mythology. But everyone seems to treat him like he is.
All we know is that if we ever used God of War as a reference for a research paper, we would have been sent to Special Ed faster than we could say "Blades of Athena".
Kratos is the typical testosterone-fueled He-Man that modern entertainment has too much of. He has that tragic aura of mystery about him, but most of the time he's too busy tearing the wings off harpies and eviscerating minotaurs for any of that to matter.
It's clear not all the gods in Olympus can stop Kratos from achieving revenge, so what's the point? We all know how God of War is going to end. The only question is just how many metric tons of flesh will be cleaved along the way.
Surely a hero's journey can offer more than that.
5. Chris Redfield
Why he's overrated: Chris Redfield was always the "cool" kid on the block when it came to Resident Evil, but true fans know that Redfield's hanging out in the shadow of one Leon S. Kennedy. He's not the star of the franchise we deserve but rather the one we have for right now.
Somebody obviously fed Chris a few too many steroids in preparation for Resident Evil 5. Check out the size of those guns. The arms, not the pistols. And despite his awesome muscle mass, is Chris strongest of them all? Heck no! He can't even land a punch on Wesker without getting tossed across a room and thrown into a table.
We suggest Chris ditch the 'roids and concentrate on getting the job done. Leon S. Kennedy is perfectly capable of laying waste to zombie hordes, and he doesn't even need a partner to help him.
4. Marcus Fenix
Why he's overrated: Speaking of 'roid rage, check out this loser. Marcus Fenix is the kind of muscle-bound buffoon that makes even guys like Kratos seem like introspective philosophers. His personality consists entirely of grunting, shouting, and shooting.
As much as Epic Games has tried to fool gamers by licensing tie-in novels and comic books, we all know the truth. There is no real story to be had for Marcus in Gears of War, aside from arm up, take aim and go on a bug hunt. It's all about big men with bigger guns shooting generic aliens over and over again. Calling Marcus Fenix one of the definitive gaming characters of the current generation is technically accurate, but also misleading. There isn't any real character to be had here.
3. Sonic the Hedgehog
Why he's overrated: Insulting Sonic feels like kicking a crippled war veteran after they've fallen out of their wheelchair. Nothing we can say about Sonic can possibly wound him worse than Sega already has in the past decade.
Sonic was once one of the most popular characters in all of pop culture, much less the gaming industry. But sometime around the advent of 3-D gaming, Sega realized it had no idea what to do with their star mascot. Since then, dozens of Sonic games in almost evry genre have hit the shelves, and most headed straight for the trash can afterward.
Sonic was once a platforming god. That doesn't mean he has any relevance to today's gamer. People used to like Alex Kidd, but you don't see him still being shoved down our throats. It's time to give up and let Sonic die in peace.
2. Lara Croft
Why she's overrated: Lara Croft helped usher in a new era of gaming with the original Tomb Raider. She inspired one of the very few decent videogame-to-movie adaptations ever produced. She was quite possibly the first gaming icon ever to be accepted as a mainstream sex symbol.
But these days, it's not just feminists who think Lara needs to go away. After about the third Tomb Raider game, we realized we had had enough of raiding tombs and fighting dinosaurs. Sure, Lara had an upswing thanks to Tomb Raider: Legend and Anniversary, but ultimately these games weren't able to rekindle our love for Ms. Croft.
Just look at the ground Lara has paved for new gaming heroines. Now we have Bloodrayne and some chick who wears a magical suit made of hair. The times, they are a-changing.
1. Master Chief
Why he's overrated: Given the pedigree of some of the yahoos on this list, we're almost surprised you went with Master Chief as the most overrated character in gaming. But who are we to argue with the readers?
Granted, the hubbub over Master Chief is disconcerting at times. Halo fans make this Spartan soldier out to be a paragon of storytelling greatness, but really - what is there underneath all that armor to warrant such praise? Chief rarely even talks, much less offers up compelling nuggets of drama. Half the time he could be swapped out with Gordon Freeman and gamers wouldn't know the difference.
No, the truth of the matter is that 95% of what makes Halo so enduringly popular is not exclusively tied to its hero, but rather to its multiplayer mode. The other 5% is the catchy theme music. At the end of the day, Master Chief is just a generic action hero riding on the coat tails of a much better game.
